Woman struggles with period pain.Photo:Getty
Getty
A man who questioned if his daughter was “taking advantage” of her brother’s willingness to help her during her painful periods was deemed an “a—hole,” followinghis postonReddit’spopular subreddit AITA (AmITheA——), where people pose scenarios and let Redditors decide if they were in the wrong.
“My daughter (13) gets reallybad periodsthe same as her mother, which I’m very knowledgeable about. I grew up with 6 sisters and have been with my wife for nearly 18 years. But the thing is I think she is taking advantage of our son. My daughter has him running to the fridge for her, grabbing everything for her, even adjusting the tv volume and the led lights,” he wrote.
“It makes me glad that he wants to help her but he cannot do everything for her. When I brought this up to my son, my wife became very angry at me and said I was going to discourage our son and [I] should be proud he’s learning early.”
Period products.Getty
“I said although I am proud, I feel he’s being taken advantage of. He can help grab things for her if he wishes but going so far to adjust ac, the tv volume, getting up at her every call is a bit far," he continued. “She got angry at me and told me I’d never understand and that I was going to ruin our son’s helpful mindset. I’m just trying to help. I feel though he’s being taken advantage [of].”
The consensus of Reddit was that he was, indeed, an “a—hole,” with the top comment pointing out, “you have a daughter with debilitating periods, a son who loves his sister and wants to help her. The only conflict here is the one you’re creating.”
“You are an a—hole. Your daughter is in pain, which you will never understand and probably couldn’t handle yourself for what it’s worth,” Redditorcampingcutiewrote. “Your son is his own person who can decide if he wants to help her or not. If he felt enslaved, he would say so.”
“If your wife has menstrual issues take your child to the doctor,” Redditor-cheekscommented. “People shouldn’t be expected to have terrible periods once a month for 40 years.”
“When I was 31, the ninth doctor I talked to about my debilitating periods found a benign tumor on my ovary the size of a baseball,” Redditorsilverandshadewrote. “16 years of being told I need to “toughen up” about cramps that would cause me to pass out and vomit on bad days, and unable to move without support on my best days.”
Medication is often prescribed for period pain.Getty
Added another comment, “I’ve had broken bones that hurt less than bad periods/ovarian [cysts].”
Commenters shared information about undiagnosed disorders that his daughter could have — emphasizing her need for medical care.
“I have stage 4 deep infiltratingendometriosis. I have had symptoms since I was 10. Didn’t get taken seriously until a year ago when I found a specialist and had surgery to remove it.” wrote one comment about the condition, which the Mayo Clinic explains happens when the tissue lining uterus “grows in places where it doesn’t belong.”
“The main symptom of endometriosis is pelvic pain,” theMayo Clinicexplains. “It’s often linked with menstrual periods.”
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“The wife and daughter need to go see a [gynocologist] and get screened for endometriosis,” another commenter added. “ This is not normal and they should not suffer through debilitating pain unnecessarily.”
“She’s 13. Periods that debilitating are not normal for someone that age. She may not even know that,”PurpleEyedOcelotwrote.
“She needs a medical appointment, and only this clueless excuse for a parent or his wife can book it, get her there, and pay for it. This could be endometriosis, PCOS, evencancer….. She’s not doing those things for herself because they are not things a 13 year old is either capable or legally able to do alone. OP expressed ZERO concern for her health.”
As theMayo Clinicpoints out, symptoms ofPCOS— “Polycystic ovary syndrome — often start around the time of the first menstrual period.”
Although, asFantastic_Mention261pointed out, “If you find a doctor that will actually take period pain seriously let us know,” the overwhelming consensus was that his daughter needed help — not an attitude adjustment. Users also agreed the father most definitely was in the wrong and potentially hurting their sibling relationship.
“If the daughter tells him how much she appreciates all of his help, and finds a way to return the kindness,”DragonCelicapointed out, “that’s only going to strengthen their bond as siblings.”
source: people.com
